Martoons

Today: Miss No’s opportunism with Thomas leaves her red-faced

Cast of characters

Miss No

*

Miss No had been thinking about the exact same thing.

Looking back, it all started with what she called her personal Dark Week – that first week when Thomas had first arrived.

One particular late night that week she’d been laying in bed reflecting on – of all things – her sex life.

Her reflections were short and sweet – she had no sex life.

Go was a real sad sack in the sack; that is, when he showed up at all.

This night, like most others, he was absent again, out cavorting with Mr E and the usual motley crew of loose VIP room ladies.

Tonight was like most others – she’d end up waiting for him until the wee hours, ready willing and able.

He’d either not show up and crash at the institute; or he’d make it home but pour himself into bed so drunk that not even a bevy of naked Miss Koreas could have aroused him.

All the while Miss No would lie there staring at the ceiling, unfulfilled and wasting the best nights of her life.

Tonight was a bit different than the other nights though – she decided she wasn’t going to take it anymore.

* What was Miss No going to do? *

She needed an outlet, a bargaining chip – someone to play off against Go to get his attention.

Thomas couldn’t have arrived at a better time.

He was the first foreigner she’d ever dealt with and she was fascinated by his mysteriousness.

In fact, right now on the spot, she decided to add a new duty to his job description: As of tomorrow, after hours personal comfort boy.

At work, business had drooped for months in the absence of a waygook, especially among the housewife clients.

But Thomas had only been here several days and word was spreading quickly.

The housewives had gotten wind that the new foreigner resembled a bodybuilder, Hollywood star and stud all rolled into one, and they wanted in on the action.

Just to watch his rippling body and – when he turned around to jot on the chalk board – his beefcake butt, hordes of the oppressed, domestically dissatisfied wives eagerly enrolled.

The surge in business was fine and dandy with Miss No – except for one thing: She was plain and outright jealous of all the attention.

Those housewives were getting it all from Thomas and she was getting none.

They were a ruthless bunch, those neurotic, pent-up housewives.

They knew what they wanted and they were intent on getting it.

No had heard a rumour that a select few of the ‘elite’ wives (No called them the ‘housewife mafia’) had even taken a nap with Thomas.

That didn’t rest well with her.

Thomas was her asset – no ifs, ands or … butts.

Her message to the housewives: You can feast your eyes on the new menu but you can’t eat anything.

* What do you think happens between Miss No and Thomas? *

*

Tomorrow: Miss No manipulates some of Thomas’ attention.