Martoons

Cast of characters

Fred

Mrs Won

Mr E

Miss No

*

“Excuse me, Miss?” said Fred.

No ignored him and continued her sermon. He tapped harder.

She stopped talking and turned around, looking annoyed at the interruption.

E quickly slipped out from the wall and moved to a safe distance.

When No saw that it was Fred, her face instantly changed. “Oh! I am surprised…”

Fred wanted to lighten the atmosphere and prevent No turning on him and re-directing her religious zeal his way.

“Miss No, I should tell you that you’re barking up the wrong tree – I’m already religious.”

“I worship sex, drugs and rock’n’roll.”

* Was that a smart thing to say to her? *

He laughed wholeheartedly at his own admittedly lame humour, but No didn’t seem to be listening.

She was pre-occupied; out of the corner of her eye she was keeping watch on E who was standing nearby, but on the balls of his feet as if ready to leave quickly.

“So,” No said to Fred distractedly, “how do you like … Christmas … in … Korea?”

“In Canada it’s a mini-season on its own – lasts for a full week from Christmas Eve pretty much right through to New Year’s day.”

“Here it’s only … well, what … one day?”

No clutched Fred’s arm endearingly and looked him deep in the eye. “Fred, can you introduce me to your friend?”

Fred felt awkward and in his peripheral vision noticed E slinking away.

No noticed. “Oh, excuse me, Fred. Merry Christmas and see you again!”

E walked swiftly away with No on his heels.  

* Has the antagonism between No and Fred eased somewhat? *

*

The next day was Christmas Eve Sunday and by now the cold war between Mrs Won and Fred had thawed slightly (because of Christmas?).

They spent that evening at her church. She’d arrived a few hours before Fred to pray extra for her hospitalized husband.

When Fred got there he sat in the pew alone. A moment later he thought he was seeing things.

* What baffling thing did Fred see? *

*

Heart Warmer     

Was that the atheistic Mr E who just walked in with the devout Miss No? Fred did a double take.

* Was it? *

It was.

The pair sat several rows ahead and didn’t see him.

Fred couldn’t help but look at them together many times during the service, shaking his head each time incredulously.

Unbelievable, he thought. Absolutely unbelievable – those two together.

Right after the service, Fred planned to leave quickly but on the way out churchgoers were moving very slowly and socializing.

As he stood immobilized in a mini mob, someone tapped him on the shoulder from behind.

“Mr E!” Fred said turning around. “I can’t believe it. That was you I saw.”

“That woman at the shopping area was very persuasive. As a banker I make a lot of calculations.”

”I figured out that it would take far less energy for me to come with her to church than try to resist her.”

Fred chuckled. “Where is … she?”

“Miss No? Giving a report to the church minister. She is busy with this church, recruiting new members.”

The mini-mob started moving again with Fred and E shuffling along with it.

“I thought I’d give this church thing another try,” E said.

“Besides, Miss No is somewhat beautiful and you know Fred I must get married one of these days. It is my duty. I am the oldest son in my family.”

* Will Mr E and Miss No become a couple? *

A funny thing happened in Fred’s mind.

Now that Miss No was ‘with’ Mr E, it changed his whole perception of E but especially of Miss No.

* Changed it how? *

He also realized that he’d better watch what he said about No from now on. “So,” he said hesitantly, “you know that I work for Miss No?”

“Yeah sure.”

“And I might as well tell you that things aren’t that good between us.”

E chuckled, sensing Fred’s awkwardness. “But don’t worry, Fred that’s between you two. It won’t affect our friendship at all.

“I always make up my own mind about people and you are a good man, I don’t care what anybody says.

“Just for the record, though, Miss No didn’t say hardly anything about you – only that you are very handsome.”

“By the way, Fred, who did you come here with?”

Fred didn’t answer right away. His mind was processing what E had just said.

No didn’t say hardly anything about me? Fred had a hunch that E was telling him a white lie.

And Fred was actually correct – No had revealed to E exactly what she had in mind for Fred, with the condition that E keep it to himself.

* What does Miss No have planned for him? *

*

Tomorrow: Fred dreads dining with Miss No…