Martoons

Cast of characters’

‘

Mrs Park

Thomas

Mr Go

*

Her mind was racing a million miles a minute, jumping back over a chain of events that started the first week Thomas Mapletree had arrived in Chinju.

She – her name was Mrs Park – and her best friend Mrs Kim had been long-time students at Mr Go’s Englishy school.

In the typically persistent but good-natured way of most Korean housewives, Park and Kim had actually pressured Go in the beginning to hire a foreigner.

He buckled under and hired two Americans in the first few months.

They became instant rock stars at Go’s institute and Chinju to a certain degree, but mysteriously left the country right after their first month – and first pay day.

* Why did they leave? *

Go was an introspective person and often asked himself “What went wrong?” and “How could I have acted differently?”

When those first two waygooks had bolted he ruminated long and hard. He wondered if they’d never properly connected with the culture.

Thus, in readying himself for Thomas’ arrival months later, Go asked the housewife duo if they’d act as cultural ambassadors –

taking Thomas out on the town; wining and dining him; making him feel at home.

It was customary in Korea to roll out the red carpet for foreigners and the housewives’ arms were open wide.

Timing was a problem, however.

* How come? *

The only free time they had for tour-guiding was midday, for about an hour or so.

At all other times – literally every minute – they were consumed with the dozens of household duties that Korean ajummas do – in Mrs Park’s case, getting her rebellious teenage daughter ‘Caffeine’ off to school; doting over her middle-school-aged bratty son; and pampering her bread-winning and chauvinistic husband (who managed a construction company).

Mrs Kim had a husband but no children. Her spare time was gobbled up with studying for a grad degree at a local university.

So, with only the ‘lunchy’ hour at their disposal, Park and Kim’s options for showing Thomas around were limited.

Most of the entertainment hot spots were obviously not open at lunch time.

However, the Hollywood Inn was.

*

Thomas had been exhausted since arriving in Korea 48 hours prior.

Now that he was here, the 17-hour time zone difference between Korea and Canada was taking its toll.

He’d arrived in Chinju fairly late in the evening, so after some mandatory schmoozing around the institute, Go had dropped him off at the staff apartment.

“I pick you up first thing in morning, okay?”

“First thing? No rest for the wicked, eh?” Thomas chuckled.

“I was kind of hoping to sleep in tomorrow but guess I should give my head a shake. I’m in Korea now.”

“Korea people work very hard. Thomas, you eat rice and get good night’s sleep and you will be fine.”

“Your kitchen is fully stocked with rice-maker, big bag of rice and tub of kimchi.”

“Great!” Thomas said and waved as Go sped off. Problem is I hate rice.

* Seems like Thomas was going to have to learn to like it *

In the apartment, he couldn’t read the Korean instructions on the rice maker anyway.

In the otherwise stark bare fridge, there was indeed a big tub of apparently freshly-made kimchi.

The fermented cabbage condiment is an acquired taste even to the most tolerant of palettes.

Thomas tactfully reached into the fridge and carefully removed the tub – as if too much movement might make it explode – and peeled back the lid.

* Is the acquired taste of kimchi one that Thomas enjoys? *

“Arrrgh! Garlic!” This particular batch of kimchi was laden with many of the strong-smelling bulbs, which Thomas knew his constitution would reject.

However, due to extreme hunger after the long trip over the Pacific eating nothing but microwave airplane food, he nibbled the kimchi anyway.

He got his carbs by crunching on a few grains of raw rice.

He found a bottle of clear liquid in the door of the refrigerator, thinking it was water. A cautious gulp dispelled that mistaken notion.

The soju did, however, leave him with a bit of a buzz and he fell into a semi-solid sleep.

*

Tomorrow: Witness the beginning of Thomas’ instant noodle addiction.