Martoons

Cast of characters

Fred

*

Only silence, but Fred sensed calm before the shit storm.

But you know what? I’ve had enough. I’m not going to be pooped on any more.

Another knock, slightly louder this time, but still no answer. He peaked inside.

The room was vacant and quiet – even the TV monitors had been shut off.

A little voice in Fred’s head said, “Walk away. This is your chance.”

“Don’t come back. Tell no one.” But he wasn’t sure and needed a moment to think about it.

* Will Fred stay or go? *

He felt the coffee in his hand and that was the answer – go in the office and take a seat; relax; and enjoy the coffee.

He tip-toed in cautiously and sat at the round staff table, nursing the java until it was done. No still hadn’t returned.

He savored his caffeine buzz for several glorious minutes and the little voice returned and repeated its refrain:

“Walk away. This is your chance. Do it now. Don’t come back. And tell no one.”

But still he didn’t move. He’d give No one more minute and started counting down from 60-59-58…

He had a hunch that she may have anticipated an impending conflict or confrontation with him so she’d instinctively stepped out to allow things to cool down.

Fred nodded his head as another conclusion about Korean culture clicked: These people are masters of avoiding confrontation.

Alone in the quiet office and inadvertently glancing up at the filing cabinet and the drum, Fred could suddenly hear again the lingering sounds of the traditional beat from only moments ago.

And – like the line of light created when whirling a sparkler in the twilight air – reappearing before Fred’s eyes were curvy lines where he’d been dancing only moments earlier.

Had that all been just a dream?

He felt dizzy but relieved. The housewives’ visit had been just what the doctor ordered.

That drum orgy was my finest moment in Chinju. And how fitting that it shall be my last!

A plan began unfurling: He’d go back to Good Lucky Apartments, pack his big red hockey bag and catch the late afternoon bus out of Chinju to Seoul.

Mrs Won wouldn’t be home right now and Cleaning Lady would have already left, so no one would know.

That will give me a crucial head start. Now it was time to move though, if for no other reason than lunch hour was quickly evaporating.

Already 10 minutes gone and whatever was going to unfold, Fred was starving.

He got up to stick his head out the door and peer down the hall for any sign of Miss No.

Nothing.

* Where did she go? *

His stomach growled – a sign that he was feeling better; much, much better. “That’s it. I’m out of here,” he declared into an empty room.

Yet no sooner had he started to get up when he heard high heels clicking down the stairs.

He quickly resumed his seat, sitting straight up with his hands folded like a school kid awaiting a scolding.

His mind was still set: As soon as No launched into her tirade, he’d cut her off and set her straight.

He had nothing to lose – he was leaving.

But he wouldn’t tell her that.  

*

Entering the office, No was startled. “Oh! Mr Fred…” and she instantly deflated and put her hand on her heart. “Mother! You scared me.”

She straightened up and regained composure. “It is lunch time. Why have you not gone to eat rice?”

“I ran into the housewives outside and they said you wanted to meet with me. So … here I am.”

He chuckled to lighten the atmosphere. “I’ve been waiting here 10 minutes!”

No had actually come down to the office to retrieve a business card she’d seen lying around – for a take-out place nearby.

She too was very hungry and was lustily envisioning oral orgasms that would be induced by the steaming bowl of noodles and black sauce.

Honestly, Fred’s fate was the last thing on her mind at this moment.

* Did she not actually want him to come and meet with her then? *

“Oh,” she said blandly, “we can meet next time,” and her eyes darted around for the card.

The silence in the office was so thick you could cut through it with a sushi knife.

In the split-second stillness and stagnation, something occurred to her: Was this suddenly her chance to fire Fred as she’d planned?

Swallow the bitter pill and get it over with so we can all get on with our lives. And our lunch!

She momentarily stopped looking for her card and her eyes turned to him.

Yet he’d broken eye contact and looked to be daydreaming, and the way the light was coming in through a window blind, No saw him all at once in a different light –

a foreigner in a foreign land; guilty perhaps of bad behaviour but innocently so; a lost soul with good intentions who’d washed up on the shores of our Korea.

* Might she change her mind about firing him? *

“So,” Fred said, “what do you want to see me about? Believe me, if it’s something important I can take it. I’m an adult.”

Speak now or forever hold your peace. As soon as I step out that door for lunch, me go bye-bye – for goodsies!

*

Tomorrow: Food is on the mind.