Martoons

Cast of characters

Fred

Donna

Miss No

*

No wiped away her sentimental, humanitarian gushiness and came back to reality.

However, even sober with strict, rational thought, she couldn’t bring herself to fire Fred right at this moment. Not during a lunch hour!

She knew this was her fatal weakness; her fatal flaw: An inability to drive in the killer stake at the crucial moment.

She should have screamed at the top of her lungs, “Get out of our business and out of our country!”

Yet the only utterance that came out – and completely blankly – was, “Oh, why I want to see you? Oh, nothing.”

 “Okay, I’m going for lunch now.” Fred got up quickly, now completely at the mercy of his ravenous hunger.

He too was conjuring up images of his favorite rice place down the street – run by a jovial 

He loved the way she served it – on a huge platter laid-out with a myriad of side-dishes surrounding the bowl of stew in the centre, like planets orbiting a sun.

He likened the layout to an edible solar system.

He always left there stuffed to the gunnels. And all for only about $5.

No grabbed the restaurant card and actually scooted out before Fred did and disappeared up the stairs to call the restaurant phone number office for delivery.

Fred was left there by himself for a few seconds, glancing around the office to make sure he hadn’t left anything major behind.

He was going for his last lunch. He wasn’t coming back.

And tell no one.

*

Bear Trap         

Out in the streets, a gentle breeze and bright, low-heat sun had replaced the face-slapping wind of the morning.

After getting lunch, Fred walked back toward Good Lucky Apartments and it was soon visible off in the distance.

He thought again about the staff room this morning – a blurry collage of housewives, drums, soju and a livid Miss No whirled through his mind.

He was still shaking his head.

The intensity had built to a feverish fury and then finally blown. Now he was within hours of leaving Korea.

Yet until then, he had to keep his cards tightly to his chest.

Tell no one.

* Will Fred make it out of Korea before anyone figures out his plan? *

Back in the apartment, it was so quiet you could have heard a chopstick drop. Cleaning Lady was likely out running errands.

The calm was shattered when the phone rang.

* Who’s calling? *

“Sorry to bug you during your lunch.” It was Donna.

“For some reason Miss No wants me to check up on you; says she got an odd feeling when you left for lunch. Wants to make sure you’re all right.”

The caterpillar hairs on Fred’s neck stood up.

“Alright? Yeah … couldn’t be better. Just chowed-down at my favorite kimchi stew place and after walked home for some fresh air. Life is good.”

There was a pause as if more needed to be said, but Fred kept his trap shut. Another phone in Donna’s office (at Riverside) rang.

“Excuse me for a sec, Fred…” She came back a minute later.

“I’ll have to let you go. Miss No needs a ride somewhere; doesn’t want to depend on Go’s driving anymore, which means I’ve taken over as her personal chauffeur.”

“She’s leased a brand new vehicle.”

“Anyway, gotta go – apparently this is urgent … an emergency …”

* What could this emergency be? *

Fred chuckled. “Everything’s an emergency with Koreans.”

After he hung up, Fred breathed a sigh of relief that he’d kept everything under wraps.

He wondered again where Cleaning Lady was yet it actually served his purpose better that she wasn’t here.

She’d likely ask him why he wasn’t going back to work – was he sick? Should she get him some medicine from the pharmacy?

How about a batch of hangover soup? And she’d likely call Mrs Won as well.

Fred felt hungry again and scooted into the kitchen.

There was only slim pickings – rice that had been warming in the cooker too long and was dried out, brownish and hard; kimchi that had passed its due date and tasted fizzy; even the container of home-made barley tea was down to its wispy dregs.

Fred picked away at the leftovers but lost his appetite and retreated to his room to survey his few belongings for departure.

He needed to get this done quick-quick-quick and get out of here, or he sensed the whole thing might unravel.

He had about ninety minutes to kill before needing to get to get to the bus terminal.

That gave him enough time to squeeze in one last precious trip to the neighborhood bathhouse to unwind.

It would be a fitting last act. Nobody would spot him in there.

* Will the latter notion hold true? *

And no matter how bad you felt when you walked into a spa, you always left feeling great! He’d pop back here after, grab his hockey bag and be gonzo.

He could leave Mrs Won a goodbye note or call her later from the airport.

Grabbing his jacket he headed out the door.

That was the great thing about Korean saunas – you didn’t need to take anything like bathing suits or towels.

The bathhouse was just across the parking lot. Stepping outside from the dim entrance to the apartment building, Fred was hit with a blinding blast of daylight.

Shielding his eyes, he failed to see a non-descript yet spanking clean white van parked and idling nearby.

* Who’s in the van? *

*

Tomorrow: Fred goes on an uncomfortable drive.