Martoons

Today: Wide Eyes attempt to seduce Coffee Lady has unforseen consequences.

Cast of characters

Wide Eyes

Coffee Lady

*

* Korean soju: Will Mr Go buckle under Oddball’s pressure tactics? *

Now, Go thought back over the last few weeks and his first meeting with the waygook right here in the office.

Wide Eyes had wanted to know why there was a waygook named Thomas working here when it should have been his sister.

She had a contract – he’d seen it – and why wasn’t it being honored?

Why the about-face?

Was this how Koreans operated?

Was this how they showed respect for foreigners who’d bailed them out in the Korean War – the same conflict his real, biological father had fought in?

Wide Eyes was in the office daily, pressuring Go to fire Thomas.

Go wouldn’t budge.

Soju resolved that impasse.

Wide Eyes seduced Go and his addictive personality out on the town nightly.

One night at their favorite night spot, after they’d both gone out to the blue rockets, Wide Eyes came upon Go standing way over by the plaza entrance staring trance-like at the neon Evergreen Soju Town sign.

The combination of soju and neon lights seemed to do something to Go’s head.

From then on he was putty in the manipulative Wide Eyes’ hands.

Back to now.

Several blocks down the street, Wide Eyes hung up the phone after his call to Go.

He was in a very good mood and decided he was going to celebrate Thomas’ imminent departure, and his sister Donna’s pending arrival – which meant his own departure from this God-forsaken country (Donna had promised him his airfare back).

He’d invite his favorite banker Mr E out for a bite and a few drinks.

However, when Wide Eyes stepped out of the phone booth it was as if his mind was hit by a sledgehammer:

He spotted several shards of glass lying nearby, just outside the entrance to Coffee Lady’s building.

Instant flashback: It had been last night.

Late.

It had been a titillating evening of flirting with the curvaceous caffeine queen but she’d had a late night call and Wide Eyes had places to go.

He waited by the café counter while she loaded up her tray with coffee and condiments, and placed it on her trademark purple cloth, bringing its four corners up and together, then tying them into a fist-sized knot.

She gracefully lugged the weighty tray of treats down the stairs, with Wide Eyes following behind grinning and admiring her stern-side assets.

* Enter Korean alcoholic … and Wide Eyes’ fantasy is shattered *

Out on the sidewalk, Coffee Lady boarded her little scooter and carefully placed the tray between her legs on the little crossbar.

In the seconds that it took her to go through her familiar boarding routine, Wide Eyes walked up beside her to say goodbye for the night.

“When will I see my favorite Coffee Lady again?” he said in his most syrupy voice.

“How about a night cap on this very enchanted evening? Want me to drop back after you close up?”

She waved him off and fiddled for the key to her scooter. “Ah, you give me a headache.”

“But I tip you well for that headache. What time will you be back?”

He played his usual dumb foreigner routine and put his arm around her shoulder, knowing full well that was a violation of personal space in the conservative Korea.

Coffee Lady could tolerate her quota of flirting and inside the cafe it was pretty much fair game, but she didn’t like the foreigner groping her outside.

“After this call, no more business,” she said. “Me – very tired. Me – go home. See you next time.”

She’d found the key in her pocket and inserted it in the scooter’s ignition.

“How about a good night kiss?” He moved in closer all the while knowing that his request was outrageous and bordering on offensive.

But he was in a mischievous mood.

* Is Damion given respect as a ‘half-breed’ ? *

A disheveled drunk suddenly emerged from an adjacent corner store and his first sight was the odd-looking guy moving in way too close to the pretty Korean lady.

The inebriated individual’s sense of valour was magnified by the four … or was it five? … bottles of soju he’d imbibed with his associates this evening.

And he had his fifth … or was it his sixth? … in his hand, which he’d just purchased in the corner store.

Reflexively he began hurling epithets at the wide-eyed waygook, whom he figured must not be from around here judging from the liberties he was taking with the coffee wench.

“Hey you … hey you,” the drunk driveled, “half breed American skank … no touchy lady okay?”

Wide Eyes noticed the loser but was still intent on getting a good night smooch from Coffee Lady’s lipstick-caked lips.

The drunken moron, however, was intent on ruining the mood and continued his obscene haranguing.

“Sometimes it helps not to know a frickin’ word of Korean,” Wide Eyes said to Coffee Lady.

“Because even though I don’t have any idea what arsewipe is saying, I can say with almost 100% certainty that it ain’t nice.”

Coffee Lady wasn’t listening to Wide Eyes’ babble.

She was getting concerned about the drunken, bottle-toting dope becoming violent.

She’d seen him before in this area; in fact, he’d insulted her a number of times until her boss Max and his staff had set the guy straight by writing ‘No touchy Coffee Lady’ on his face with their fists.

He didn’t seem to have a very good memory, though.

*

Tomorrow: Things get violent.