Martoons

Cast of characters

Fred

Mr E

Miss No

*

“Fred, follow me,” said Mr E.

Inside the shop E picked up a container of ginseng pills from the assortment of products.

With a confident smile he claimed, “You take these and you will have many sons.”

* Where does this idea stem from? *

Fred laughed. “Sounds good, but first you have to actually meet a woman who’s willing to bear those sons. Do they have anything for that?”

E chuckled. “Ginseng tea! You could invite her to a tea house on a date.”

“Then I’ll need something to get her back to a love motel.”

E raised his finger as if he were giving a testimonial. “Ginseng soju.”

Fred laughed robustly. Also on display in the store was a large, cylindrical glass jar about two feet tall and eight inches in diameter.

It looked like a stubbier version of a barbershop jar – the kind filled with the bright blue fluid and the comb standing inside.

This ginseng jar contained yellow-brownish fluid and submerged in it was a huge ginseng root – over a foot long, with arms and legs jutting out.

“It looks like a person,” E remarked.

“An expensive person,” Fred said. “Look at the price.” (About two thousand dollars Canadian.) “Why so expensive?”

“There is a committee in Korea which examines ginseng to verify that it is real. Obviously they have verified this one, so it costs a lot.”

“You could have a lot of sons with that.”

Speaking of which…” Fred bought a wooden box of ginseng tea. “Not buying anything Mr E? You want sons too don’t you?”

“Of course, but what you said is right: First you have to meet the woman. And anyway, I don’t really like tea.”

“How about partnering up with one of your bank tellers? A few of them are very attractive.”

He waved Fred off. “I don’t like office romance. It creates jealousy and revenge.

“Korean women are notoriously ruthless. One of those lowly clerks could ruin my career. They have an iron will.”

Fred had forked over the cash for his tea and they turned to the exit. The ginseng store owner wished them Merry Christmas.

Outside the store Fred spotted the sign for a men’s washroom and excused himself.

Just prior to ducking inside, he noticed the inimitable, indefatigable Miss No heading back from the other direction.

Again, she didn’t seem to see him.

Fred took refuge in the men’s room. Besides his heart nervously pounding, all he could hear were those heels again –

Click-click. Click-click. Click-click. Click-click. Click-click.

 He wondered What mission is she on this time?

A moment later as he went back to the meeting place, there was a ruckus outside the ginseng store.

Fred was aghast: E was backed up against a wall, speechless, while No was lecturing him!

* What is she lecturing him about?! *

She had her back to Fred. He approached cautiously and was able to stand right behind her without being noticed. 

“I’m talking about God,” she declared. “I know about Him. You have no idea.”

E mumbled something.

“Do you go to church?” Her voice quickened and amplified. “You don’t? Then how can you know about God?”

She was relentless. Interestingly enough, Fred observed, although she was almost yelling, her voice was void of anger.

She was making a passionate pitch.

E stood there taking it all in, saying nothing further, his face emptying of colour; his eyes bugging-out like someone drowning.

No was now shaking her fist and pointing her finger accusingly.

She had her bible unzipped from its case and was quoting scripture.

Fred could see E was looking for an out so Fred tapped No lightly on the shoulder from behind.

“Excuse me, Miss?” 

* How will No react to Fred interrupting? *

*

Tomorrow: More than one familiar face congregates together at church for Christmas.