Martoons

Cast of characters

Dame

Coffee Lady

*

Moments later, Coffee Shop Max.

Dame strutted in like a puffed-up peacock and upon spotting the Coffee Lady, queried: “Busy tonight babe?”

She was brewing a new batch of jet-black liquid asphalt. She was peeved at his disingenuous sweet-talking.

Babe? Babe?! She didn’t look up from what she was doing. “I don’t know. Why would that be a concern to you?”

“Just wondering if you’d like to celebrate Christmas Eve with me?”

Dame sounded so sweet he even surprised himself and then launched into the schmaltziest-sounding song Coffee Lady had ever heard.

“I’m dreaming of a White Christmas…”

Coffee Lady cringed at his phony attempt to charm her and saw through his reference to a ‘white’ Christmas. “By ‘white’ I presume you mean bed linen?”

She gave him an accusing eye. “Are you hitting on me again? You know we’re over. Don’t tell me you’re just joking around…”

Dame conceded, waving her off, “You’re right. I’m just here as a client…well, as a friend too. Can’t we celebrate Christmas as friends?”

“What did you have in mind, singing some Christmas carols down in the Rotary?”

Dame chuckled but couldn’t resist one more tongue-in-cheek flirt.

“Actually I’m not a very good singer, honey. Instead, I was thinking that right around now Santa Claus is busy making toys for the children.

“I figure we could get … busy … back at my inn room making some children for those toys.” He smirked stupidly.

Coffee Lady shook her head but then allowed herself to snicker. At least the guy had a sense of humour. “You can go now.”

Dame’s fatigue was quickly returning and his mood was instantly souring. He had to get out of the café.

Obviously Coffee Lady didn’t want to put the ‘X’ in his Xmas – even just as friends – and so be it.

* Where is Dame going to go/what is he going to do now? *

Dame had a sky-high level of pride – he’d go so far as letting a lady know he was interested but begging wasn’t his strong point.

Once she started playing hard to get, he’d push the kill switch on his charm machine.

As he abruptly left the café, even Coffee Lady stopped what she was doing and followed him out with her eyes.

“Meddy Koolissa-massa!” (Merry Christmas) she called after him, but he was already gone and the glass door swung closed forcing in a short and swift blast of icy cold air.

As he got down to the street, Dame thought about Xmas and decided to forget about lady action and spend this special evening with truly special people – friends.

He ran down the list in his mind – and the obvious choice was Mr Go.

First things first though – beeline back to his motel and recharge the batteries with a snooze. Then, as night set in, he’d get up and call Go.

He’d be at home by that time as per Miss No’s curfew, and likely be in a calm state of mind.

It was time they talked about Miss No’s dirty little secret. Dame chuckled to himself and rubbed his hands together in a scheming way.

*

Tomorrow: Fred invites Mr E out to drink with the waygooks.