Martoons

Cast of characters

Fred

Thomas

*

“I knew there was a reason you came back here!“ Fred exclaimed to Thomas. “And not just to schmooze with us foreigners for Christmas.”

* And that reason is?… *

Thomas grinned. “Full disclosure: I’m suffering from Coffee Lady withdrawal symptoms. Came here today to get my fix.

”Perky’s over there now at the café, probably having her afternoon snooze right about now. Coffee Lady adores her.”

Thomas absent-mindedly pawed at a neglected bowl of crispy snacks the curvy server girl had brought.

“One thing about being in Ulsan for the last few weeks…” He chomped on a mouthful of the chips. “…I realized that I miss Coffee Lady.

”Believe me – and I’m not trying to brag – but I’ve got chicks all over me in Ulsan – college babes, housewives, and professionals

. But as hard as I’ve tried, I just can’t get interested in any of them. All I think about is my little Caffeine Queen.”

“Are you sure it’s not one-way love? She didn’t seem too enamoured by your surprise visit last time – remember that day it was pissing down rain?”

“Oh yeah,” Thomas laughed, “and you wet your pants!”

He reflected.

“That was my fault. I shouldn’t have dropped by unannounced like that; should have called first.”

“She had big-spender clients that day and had to play that game. Seriously, though, she’s come a long way.”

”The first month I knew her, she literally never said a single word. When I saw her earlier today she actually uttered a sentence – ’Coffee sir?’ I was impressed.”

Fred laughed. “Sure you know what you’re getting into? You know how the women are here – once they fall for you they won’t let go; like, marriage.

“You were just married not too long ago. Can you honestly see yourself doing it again? And already?”

* Can Thomas seriously picture himself with Coffee Lady in the long-term? *

There was a pause and Fred wondered if he should just mind his own business.

“Let me look into my crystal ball…” Thomas squinted and looked close-up at his filthy cast-aside soju glass.

“Yeah, looks like I’ll eventually have to give her up I guess.

“See that?” He held the glass out and Fred glanced at it.

“You mean that big greasy thumb print?”

“Yeah, that’s symbolic. You don’t want to have that kind of effect on someone.”

“In other words, I can’t see myself pulling Coffee Lady out of her comfortable culture here and hauling her away to alien Canada.”

He put the glass back down and pushed it off to the side. “So, yeah, you’re right. I probably should back off, for both of our sakes – especially hers.”

* Will Thomas end up backing off? *

He drained his beer glass and suppressed a belch. “I respect her, though. I’ve never seen a woman work as hard as she does.

“She’d be a good business partner. I see possibilities. You can’t do anything here business-wise without a local partner.”

He fell into a daze and Fred had to nudge him out of it. “Oh geez, sorry Fred.”

He sighed sullenly. “Was just thinking about her cafe.”

“There’s this smell that drives me crazy there; how can I describe it – overly strong, burnt coffee; stale, smouldering cigarette butts; cheap perfume, sweaty armpits and rotten kimchi.”

“Oh yeah, and throw some farts in there.” He chuckled.

“It’s quite awful yet once it gets up my nostrils it seeps into my brain and calms me.”

He gazed into space reflectively. “It feels like … home.” He laughed uproariously and Fred naturally did the same.

*

Tomorrow: Miss No gets Mr Go apprehended.