Martoons

Cast of characters

Dame

*

Mid-morning, Dame’s motel room.

After a restless few hours’ sleep fragmented with soju-induced nightmares, Dame lay back on his bed and blanket at the Motel Sleepytime (he’d been here since arriving in Korea) and lit up a smoke.

As he lay there blowing smoke sculptures into the air, he wondered how Go’s night had gone.

Hopefully spending it in the drunk tank was all that had happened.

* What else could have happened? *

Korean cops were notorious for aggressive tactics, and Dame now wondered if he should have accompanied his buddy down to the cop shop and sat there all night to make sure he was actually okay.

But that was last night, this was today.

With his buddy out of the picture until at least later today, Dame was hit by the stark realization that it was Christmas and he really should get off his duff and get out there and meet people.

Any people. Even foreign people.

He’d gotten wind that a bunch of waygooks were quaffing some beers down at the Rotary on this very merry day, sometime around noon.

* Was Damion going to join them? *

Sure, he thought, that’s what I should do. It’s Christmas. I’ll just grin and bear those culture-shocked idiots for a few hours.

Or not.

He could see Fred again. Dame actually liked the man.

True, Freddy was naive as hell and seriously needed reality to bend him over, lube him up and screw some sense into him.

But what better way to have that done than a year in Korea? So, Fred was okay.

It was the other waygooks Dame wasn’t so keen about, and they’d probably be down there too – en masse.

* How come Dame doesn’t like them? *

He generally kept only mild contact with most of the whitey waygooks in Chinju. They were like women – good in small doses; trace amounts were even better.

He’d decided at the outset that he wanted the pure Korean experience during his visit in this country so he socialized almost exclusively with Koreans.

He couldn’t understand why other waygooks spent most of their time hanging out with each other.

The odd waygook guy might go out with a stunningly gorgeous Korean female;

going the other way, some of Dame’s Korean male acquaintances wanted introductions to ravishing waygook women they’d seen around town.

Then there were the Korean women who wanted to meet waygook men – an immediate sore spot for Dame because of the Coffee Lady-Thomas affair.

Other than that it was never the twain shall meet between hangooks and waygooks.

Furthermore, few waygooks even attempted to learn the Korean language.

It was no wonder – Dame concluded – that most Koreans regarded waygooks as alien beings.

Nevertheless, with more and more waygooks filing into town all the time, Dame stayed on the alert for any trouble cases who might try to move into his turf – the Rotary soju tent, Max’s pool hall, Coffee Lady’s café, university village and a few others.

That was the Korean side of him – a deep-seated paranoia over foreigners in his neighborhood.

He’d eased up on that since Thomas had left, however.

The newer, younger waygooks thought Dame was cool and a kind of inside expert on Korea, so they made sure they kept him informed of foreigners’ gatherings.

That’s how he’d found out about today’s piss-up. Another huge cigarette inhale, a pause, then an exhale of creepy, blue smoke.

Should I go and mingle with those lowly waygooks?

Wait a minute. Donna would probably be there. Last time he’d met her was that strained encounter at Coffee Lady’s café.

As he thought about it, the mere prospect of running into her at today’s waygook pub crawl was a deterrent.

* When will Dame see his sister again? *

Furthermore, for some inexplicable and strange reason Dame had a hunch that Thomas was in town.

He had absolutely no way of knowing that, but the feint feeling turned the amber light to red.

He disliked Thomas – admittedly, pure jealousy – but did respect his fellow waygook enough to keep his distance and allow him his space.

Dame finished his smoke and butted it out decisively in the ashtray beside his bed mat.

“No thank you,” he muttered. “I think I’ll have a waygook-free day today.”

“Sorry Freddy. Sorry Donna. And you too Thomas. Don’t take it personally – even though it absolutely is!”

* What will Dame do instead then? *

As his eyes scanned errantly around the room he spotted his video camera, which he hadn’t touched since the battery died after his trip to Kwangju.

Suppose I could charge that thing up and go out and get footage.

Yet that would take energy and his biorhythm was bottoming out.

The late nights. The soju. And when was the last time he ate some real food – not rice or kimchi?

I think my stomach is culture-shocked.

What he could really use was a greasy cheeseburger. He knew a place near the Rotary.

They had fries too – little itty bitty servings, mind you, no gravy and glistening with grease but…

Yeah! That’s what he’d do. The unfolding day instantly started to look up.

* Will his day end up being a good one? *

*

Tomorrow: Damion decides to cash in a favour and Max urges Mr E to keep their partying going.