Martoons

Cast of characters

Dame

Max

*

Max stepped up to the phone, slid in coins, and glanced at his pager as he dialed the number.

Turns out it was Damion, who was calling from the underground market.

(Dame didn’t have one of the new-fangled cell phones – foreigners weren’t allowed to sign a contract for them.)

“Yeah, yeah, how are you?” Max said, suddenly overcome with a dull feeling.

“Won’t keep you long my man. Just trying to line up some recreational services for this evening. Maybe for old times’ sake … Coffee Lady?”

They were obviously done romantically (not that there was ever anything anyway); even so – objectively speaking – Coffee Lady gave a really good massage.

She had the same effect on tight muscles as a tenderizing hammer has on a slab of tough steak.

Unfortunately, tonight Max had other plans for his number one Caffeine Queen and Massage Monarch – she was on loan to Max’s best buddy Thomas.

Max admired and almost idolized Thomas, while Damion was far down the list of his favorite foreigners.

Thomas most resembled the Hollywood athletes, rock stars and N.F.L. football stars Max had seen on CNN International TV from Hong Kong.

Max felt famous being around Thomas and the association seemed to help his reputation and image within his own organization of goons.

Damion, on the other hand, was more of a fly-in, fly-out type foreigner looking for a few cheap thrills.

Max, into the phone: “You request Coffee Lady tonight Mr Damion. I’m sorry. She busy. Someone else perhaps?”

There were only one or two other ladies within Max’s employ that Dame would tolerate being with.

Several reasons: Once you got any lower than the top two or three, their beauty fell off quickly.

Most of them were uneducated and from poverty-stricken or broken families and Dame always found they had the most shattered, vacant look in their eyes.

* Who will Dame end up with tonight? *

“How about Number 2?” Dame suggested.

“So sorry, Number 2 busy. How about number 10?”

“Ayeesh,” Dame muttered and got the sense that Max was sloughing him off (which he was).

“It’s Christmas. I want something special. Can you bump me up the line?

“C’mon buddy, think of all the business I’ve given you. In fact, I was wondering if tonight could be … on the house?”

* Will Max agree to what Dame is wanting? *

Max was getting impatient. He wanted to get back to Fred and Thomas in the bar and was tired of Dame always asking for special deals and hopping lines to get the top girls.

Admittedly, Dame had spent an incredible amount of money purchasing girly services from Max. But tonight it didn’t matter.

All the top girls were busy and Max was basically taking the evening off.

“Tonight Mr Damion I close office early. Christmas, you know? Anyway, in future, you must call ahead if you want top quality.”

“You must make … lezz-ull-bay-shun (reservation).”

Max rarely bothered requiring reservations but he liked the way the word rolled off his tongue and he’d recently learned how to say the word in English.

Damion laughed. Reservations? Was he still in Korea?

“Okay, tell you what. I’ll do that. I’ll make a re-ser-va-tion. Forget this evening.”

“I’m tired anyway. But yeah – book me for New Year’s Eve: Coffee Lady and five star service.”

Each of the five stars represented a different service. “That’s right. I want all five of ‘em. If I’m going to be leaving this God-forsaken peninsula, I want a memory.”

“Yeah, yeah, five stars okay.”

* How is Coffee Lady going to feel about this? *

“And since I’m booking ahead of time, do I get a discount?”

Max just shook his head.

“Ayeesh. Come on down to the pool hall later this week and we’ll iron all this out. Merry Christmas! I’m hanging up now!”

As he ended the call, the server girl from the bar approached. Apparently someone else had called the house phone and wanted to speak to the foreigner at Max’s table.

He and E led the server girl to the table.

* What could this call be about? *

*

Tomorrow: Damion still finds a way to put the “x” in his Xmas.