Martoons

Cast of characters

Mr Go

Miss No

*

“Come in sir,” Miss No said through the thin, ornamental door.

Go delayed for a split second, braced himself, and then slid the door open.

“Ah yeah.” He bowed stiffly and shuffled into the booth as gracefully as he could.

The bottle was sitting right there on the table and – playing the part – he affixed his eyes to it. He almost stumbled as he sat down. Hope I didn’t over act!

* Do you think Miss No will see through Go’s act? *

“Welcome and Merry Christmas,” No said. She held out the bottle. “Drink?”

Go said nothing while robotically holding up his soju glass in both hands and she filled it.

He was actually curious as to how the wine truly tasted, since he’d never sampled it with his full senses about him.

As he sipped from the glass he found the spirit extremely sweet and heavy, like syrup.

He instantly felt sorry for all North Korean men, having to lubricate their social life with a substance more suitable for American pancakes.

“Is it delicious?” No asked.

“Yes Comrade No,” came the monotone response. “Much delicious taste.”

I’m liking this acting stuff, and I’m not bad at it either. Just ask Shakespeare.

The customary two candles were lit and threw a dim glow on the two portraits.

Go stared blankly ahead; No continued to pour him shots, which he downed expediently.

When half the bottle was gone, No put it down, confident her protégé was deep in her grip.

“Comrade Go, listen carefully. There is a problem with our Englishy business.”

“Yes Comrade No.” Having had nothing to eat since last night, the sugary wine was giving Go a warm-on.

“I need you to help me solve this business problem.”

“Yes Comrade No. Anything you require. At your service.”

No grinned slightly and thought, Man I’m good. This will be easy as pie.

* How is No going to try to play Go over this ‘problem’? *

She produced her briefcase from beneath the floor and placed it up on the table.

Without knowing it, the corner of the briefcase had accidentally pushed the table service switch.

She opened the case only slightly and slid out a document that she’d cut and pasted together.

It was a consent form whereby Go agreed to give up his business and was back dated several months ago before his mental problems had become disruptive.

“Are you aware of the court case that Mr Kang on your behalf has launched against me?”

Ah ha! I’ll play dumb. Go waved her off. His head was whirling around now from the half-dozen wine shots.

“Mr Kang is manipulating you. His plan is to get rid of me and after getting rich, sell out and retire to Cheju Island. You will be left destitute.”

Go was amazed that she’d make up such a story but again he envisioned Dame sitting in his Director’s chair, moving the script along. “Action!”

“Yes Comrade No,” Comrade Go said stone-faced. “Mr Kang – no good.”

No placed the paper in front of Go. “Please sign at the bottom. I brought your name stamp.”

“Thank you Comrade No. Very thoughtful.” He glanced briefly at the document in a glassy-eyed fashion.

Sure enough, it stated he was giving up all four of his Englishy schools (two in Chinju, two in Ulsan) to Miss No.

He placed the page neatly back on the table and folded his hands in his lap.

No nudged his name stamp and red ink pad a little closer to his hand.

Go paused – intentionally for dramatic effect. “May I say something Comrade

No?”

“Yes certainly.”

“This document wouldn’t be legal if I signed it right now; I am too drunk.”

Knock knock knock.

It was the server lady bringing side dishes. No wanted to scream “I told you not to disturb us!” but it was too late.

If the server lady saw the Great Leader and Dear Leader portraits, she’d call the police. Every Korean recognized those.

* Will the server catch Miss No with those photos out?! *

*

Tomorrow: Go keeps his performative act going.