Martoons

Cast of characters

Miss No

*

Meanwhile as Dame was doing his good deed, Miss No’s cab nipped by the phone booths.

She didn’t see Dame; got out of the cab at Go’s building; scooted up the stairs.

Click-click, click-click, click-click – her high heels on the concrete steps sounding like a woodpecker.

This would just be a quick curfew check. He’d been a good boy the last few weeks.

She’d popped in on him a few times by surprise but never caught him in the act.

She was aware that alcoholics are adept at hiding the evidence; however Go smoked profusely when he drank and surely his ashtrays would have been piled a foot high with butts.

They hadn’t been – only six inches.

* What will No think of this evening’s activities? *

His smoking was an additional worry for Miss No, raising a health and safety concern:

Accustomed to his recent high tempo nightlife of drinking, dames and dancing, the new improved nocturnally domesticated Go found that retiring early to his apartment made him drowsy – the bad part being that he habitually smoked in bed.

* That seems dangerous… *

That evidence he couldn’t hide – numerous cigarette burns on his bedroom’s linoleum floor.

Late at night recently, as Miss No laid her own head down to sleep at her family’s house, she had horrific hallucinations of her estranged partner burning up in a blazing bed.

Now at Go’s landing, No suddenly went into shock.

* How come? *

Pouring out of Go’s cracked-open and chained door was a thick smoke carrying the smell of burning human flesh.

“Oh my God,” No shrieked, both hands shooting up to cover her mouth, and a flash of grave concern overtaking her.

Her worst nightmare had come true: The man had burned himself up smoking in bed.

Her mind raced a million miles per second.

The police would soon arrive, investigate, and quickly conclude murderous revenge … by a disgruntled female employee – her – who’d failed to take over her ex’s business and sought revenge.

Miss No did an about-face on the landing. She had to get out of there. Now. 

Agonizing over the thought of leaving a charred ex-lover and ex-boss behind to smoulder, she shot down the stairs. She was sure she’d seen a phone booth on the way in.

She’d quickly call 1-1-9 anonymously and tip them off, and then hail a cab and scram.

Out into the parking lot, a thick sheet of cold winter air blanketed her. Mr Go – was he really …gone? If not, he’d be immolated beyond recognition.

It would be grisly, ghastly, and gruesome.

She quivered and thought of God.

Indeed he worked in mysterious ways: She’d gotten Mr Go out of the business after all but there was a twisted, macabre irony – his incineration. 

*

Tomorrow: Someone makes a proposal.