Martoons

Cast of characters

Thomas

Fred

Max

Mr E

Coffee Lady

*

Fred was thankful that the room lights just happened to flash in such a way that his corner was shadowy for a few seconds.

E’s song was so powerful that it had brought a tear to the Canadian’s eyes.

He strained to prevent a massive release of unmanly sobbing but E noticed and put his arm around him.

“Whenever I sing this I remember my military service. I can never forget it. It was … terrible.”

“Well, at least your military service is over,” Fred said. “You don’t have to worry about it anymore.”

Max spoke up. “But now he has new military commander – his girlfriend Miss No!”

E: “Ayeesh! Don’t do that!”

Max humbly bowed. “Sorry man. On to the third place! Anybody feel like a little snack?”

* Where will their third stop be? *

“Good idea,” E said, glancing at Thomas for his endorsement but his Canadian colleague was coy and non-committal.

“Depends on what a certain someone wants to do,” Thomas predictably replied.

Coffee Lady merely looked down and didn’t say anything. She was long overdue back at the café and her fate would be determined by Max.

Thomas was also worried about Perky being left alone too long back at the café as she might have a panic attack and start tearing things apart.

“Actually guys, thanks for the offer but I’m not hungry. All these gushy songs of love and sadness have got me dying for … a coffee at my favorite cafe!”

“Okay!” Max said, “Let’s go for a … coffee?! I take you to most expensive coffee shop in Chinju. It is on the top floor of a sky tower office building…”

E elbowed him and after a mental gear change, Max clicked in to Thomas’ little plan to be semi-alone with his honey.

“Ayeesh!” Max said. “Couples – they drive me crazy.”

Thomas was quickly putting his coat on but Coffee Lady just sat with her hands crossed on her lap and her head bowed solemnly, waiting for Max’s orders.

“Go, go – go with Thomas.” Max shoed her away with an arm gesture accented with exaggerated, feigned disdain.

Even though it didn’t look as if she was all that excited to be leaving with the Golden God (was she embarrassed?), she dutifully stood up and positioned herself near his side.

* What is Coffee Lady really feeling? *

“Don’t worry Max,” Thomas said with a patronizing, forced grin, “I’ll make sure she gets back to the café safe and sound. She’s in good hands…”

He reached for her hand but she recoiled.

* How come? *

“Ayeesh!” she said quietly. “Don’t touch me. You know better. It’s not appropriate here.”

“Sorry Coffee honey. When I’m with you sometimes I can’t control my actions.”

“No good Thomas!” Max reprimanded. “In Korea, a man must always be in control. How can he control his woman if he cannot control himself?”

Thomas put on a fake pout.

Max was not deterred: “Usually in Korea – man with woman – no touchy!”

Thomas raised his hand like a Boy Scout. “I, Thomas Mapletree, here do solemnly swear to be in full control of my hand movements…

“…every time my hands wander all over Coffee Lady.” He uproariously laughed.

Max didn’t seem to get the joke.

Coffee Lady shook her head in defeated disgust and with her arms crossed stormed out of the singing room alone and down the hall.

The business had closed and was otherwise empty of patrons and against the surrounding silence, Coffee Lady’s high heels resembled bursts of a gun.

Thomas, like a little puppy, scampered after his master.

* Will Coffee Lady forgive Thomas? *

Max was in disbelief. “Mr Fred, is Thomas like all Canadian men? In Korea, this kind of action is … very weak.”

“Yes Max,” the waygook answered, “in Canada this kind of behaviour is called ‘assy kissy’!”

Thomas actually heard the comment and looked back wanting to say something in his defence; yet out of the corner of his eye Coffee Lady was disappearing up the stairs and out of the building. 

*

Tomorrow: Max makes his thoughts on Mr E’s relationship with Miss No quite clear.