Martoons

Cast of characters

Fred

Mr E

Max

*

Fred gazed around as they walked through the small courtyard to the house frontage. The surrounding neighborhood embodied both old and new Korea.

Just up behind the quaint, homey restaurant was a new, high tech, steel and glass office tower under construction.

A huge banner hung from half way up: ‘Grand Open’, and then listed a date.

Cranes dotted the nearby skyline. Fred counted eight. The future was unfolding on the horizon and along this street.

But as soon as they slid open the old metal doors of the gritty little eatery, it was like turning back the hands of time.

The owners were two feisty and chatty old ladies, who told Fred they were sisters and neither had ever married.

“Migook?” asked one.

Fred waved her off. “Ca-na-da.” The old woman didn’t know what he was talking about and headed back to the kitchen.

Fred sighed. “Why do Koreans always assume a white person is an American?”

“We Koreans tend to call any non-Korean an American,” E said.

“Or we call you a foreigner,” added Max. “If you’re not Korean you’re a foreigner.”  

The second old woman waitress brought a large silver tray with three big bowls of steaming hot hangover soup and kebabs of some sort.

“Those are pressed fish paste, boiled and served on a stick,” Max explained. “It is Japanese.”

* How will the food taste? *

Fred wondered why Koreans always pointed out when something was originally from Japan, given the fact that the Japs stole more than their fair share of everything from Korea during their 1910-45 occupation.

It was as if Koreans always kept looking back over their shoulder to see where the Japs were and stayed on alert for things – Japanese in their country.

The sound of slurping filled the air and the fish paste wieners were quickly gobbled.

The tension between E and Max had lifted, much to Fred’s relief. Why didn’t Max just leave E alone about Miss No?

Max finished his soup first and pushed his bowl aside, then slugged his little white china cup of tea. “Fred – you like Korean lady?”

“Er…yeah, I guess so. Why?”

“Do you want? I can introduce to you tonight…”

* Will Fred take Max up on the offer? *

Fred didn’t know what to say. As he sat there baffled, Max was paged, and one of the old ladies brought over the portable phone so he could respond.

The gangster spoke in chopped-up English.

“Cannot! Cannot! You call me earlier and now my answer is same same. You no go Coffee Lady shop tonight. Stay out! Coffee Lady – busy. She have special guest.”

“Do not disturb!”

The voice on the other end uttered irate garble. It was loud enough for Fred to make out that it was a foreigner, and he strongly suspected Damion.

Max repeated: “Cannot cannot! You no meet Cleaning Lady’s daughter either. She complain to me about you – she have bad feeling.”

“Last time you treat her bad and cause problem for my business… Her mother almost kill me!”

More garble from the other end. Max listened impatiently and then rolled his eyes as he did a wave-off.

“She no go Hollywood Inn tonight because tonight she at different place. She booked up. Maybe you can meet her next time. Goo-night.”

He hung up, shaking his head.

“Is that the crazy way-gook?” E asked somewhat under his breath, perhaps not intending Fred to hear.

Max nodded. “I already told him I take night off tonight. He say because he alone on Christmas he lonely. Super lonely, he say.”

“You work every night?” Fred asked.

“If somebody call me for services I work. But only tonight I book off because I want to meet you and Thomas … and my friend Mr E.

“He used to have free time for me – his very best friend – but these days he very busy. These days I have to take time off to meet him!”

Here we go again Fred thought.

* Might an argument between Max and Mr E ensue? *

*

Tomorrow: E lets his friends know how serious he is about Miss No.