Martoons

Cast of characters

Fred

Max

A madam

*

Outside, a taxi pulled up. “This one’s for you,” Fred said to E who looked tired. Fred bowed to him. “Goodbye. And here’s yours Max.”

Max looked bewildered and pointed at Fred. “You? What?”

“Me? I’ll just walk home. I have a big day tomorrow – that meeting with Miss No – and I need a clear head.”

The taxi tooted its horn.

“Ayeesh!” Max uttered. “Walking too far! You crazy! Very cold. You will catch a cold.” He firmly put his arm around Fred and coaxed him into the cab with him.

“Fred I ask you earlier but you no answer – do you want Korean lady? I give you for Christmas present.” He gave instructions to the cabby and they sped off.

* What will Fred’s answer be? *

“Huh? B-b-but….” Fred stuttered.

“When in Rome …”

Fred still thought Max was just joking because a few minutes later, the Good Lucky Apartments’ complex was in view.

But as the taxi got close, it detoured down some side streets instead of taking the main drag home.

After several minutes, Fred noticed a procession of older women standing outside run-down, water-stained buildings. He got a funny feeling.

“Train station near here,” Max said. “So … many ladies here.”

“Ladies – very old,” Fred said dryly, almost relieved that no one looked attractive.

The taxi stopped, metre running, and Max lowered his window and began negotiating with one of the haggard denizens of the dark alleys.

“One hour, fifty dolla,” said the rugged, old and burly veteran of the shadowy night streets.

Fred was completely uncomfortable with the whole situation. “Max! Forget it!”

Max waved him off. “She is only agent for girl inside. Inside girl is very young and beautiful.”

Max’s negotiations broke down and he had the cabbie hurriedly approach other madams, who rushed up to the lowered window and began making bids.

Business must have been slow that night as the madams aggressively tried to win over Max by cost-cutting.

Now that it was clear that Max was really going to go through with this, Fred was getting squirmy.

Luckily, Max couldn’t reach an agreement, raised his window back up and told the cabbie to go.

“I don’t know this area. Price – much too high.”

Fred: “That’s okay Max, thanks anyway. I’ll just go home. It’s been a great night.”

Through his window he pointed over yonder. “I can see my apartment from here. That’s it right there.”

Max wasn’t listening. “I take you to my area around Hollywood Inn. Taxi…” He relayed directions.

“You mean where you get ladies?”

Max waved him off. “I no get lady. I supply lady. Fred, my family and I are businessmen. We have our fingers in many pies.”

Fred was silently amused by the bad pun as the cab bombed through the back streets for several minutes, and then turned down another, completely different seamy street.

Near the end of this red light block, Max and Fred disembarked the cab outside a small store. Max told the cabby to wait and then turned to Fred.

“Stay here for a minute. I must buy cigarettes.”

As soon as Max disappeared into the store, a madam stepped out of the adjacent building’s doorway and tried to get Fred’s attention.

“You you! Very handsome. Come on – discount okay! Only twenty five dolla.”

Fred glanced around – no sign of Max. “Me – my friend – waiting.”

She took gentle hold of his arm. “Ok ok — twenty dolla for everything.”

He waved her off. “Tonight no good – too much soju, you know?”

She eased-up on his arm. “You America?”

“Canada!”

“Canada! Come in, come in. I like Canada people.” She reaffirmed her grip on his arm. “Ten dolla okay.”

Just then Max came out of the store. “Ajumma – why? Why?”

She immediately released Fred and approached Max. It was obvious they knew each other.

They briefly conversed, which Fred couldn’t hear, and then the madam came back to Fred and warmly retook his arm.

“I’m sorry, so sorry! Everything already taken care of! Please come in. Most beautiful lady.”

* Is Fred going to go through with this? *

*

Tomorrow: A lady is arranged for Fred and Miss No makes a 1-1-9 call.