Martoons

Cast of characters

Dame

Mr Go 

Miss No

*

The water in the bowl of Go’s urinal was creeping up to the edge. He was panicking and praying (even though he wasn’t religious). “Don’t overflow!”

Wondering what to do next, suddenly – like magic – the gush diminished and the washroom fell into total silence. Something about this dim and now quiet scene brought back memories.

* What memories? *

How many dozens of times over the past year, when he was running things here, had he snuck back in at night after closing for ‘last call’?

He’d mastered the art of blindly inching his way along the hallway from his little smoking balcony to the office or men’s room.

He hadn’t been trying to save electricity; he wanted to prevent Miss No from discovering him.

You see, he rarely slept in the institute (the office couch gave him a sore back) yet once in a while he’d tie one on with Mr E.

They’d close down the soju tents and come back here for a nightcap.

However, if it was really late, No would come looking for him. She’d circle around the institute in a cab and peer up to see if any lights were on.

She’d actually caught Go red-handed a few times, so from then on he kept the place pitch-black.

He and E would find their way around either by lighters, candles, or tiny red-light illumination offered by their cigarette ends.

Presently, Go snapped out of his nostalgic reminiscence and carefully gripped the light tube, heading back upstairs.

He looked forward to getting this little party started and in his mind, No’s menacing face faded.

As Dame finished up his ciggy by the window, he inadvertently peered down to the street and noticed something. “Huh? Who the hell is that running over to that cab?”

* Could he tell that it was Miss No? *

Then he grinned. “Perfect timing. She’s just leaving, and we’re just arriving.”

He decided not to tell Go that No was out there – he’d get paranoid again.

Go got back to the spare classroom and fixed the light. He flicked it on and off.

It worked.

Down in the street, a wobbly Miss No happened to look up and see the inexplicable flash.

Go was now over at the spare filing cabinet, clawing open the cardboard flaps of his stashed soju case and pulling out a few bottles.

Dame’s eyes lit up. “Bingo!”

Go and Dame exited the room and shut the light off. Go flicked his lighter and they made their way to the office.

Determined to keep the lights off (lingering paranoia), he flicked his way over to Miss No’s desk where he knew she kept some candles for emergencies and other supplies like paper cups.

“Ah yes, nice choice Mr Go my friend,” Dame said. “Candlelight creates a really nice atmosphere.”

Go poured shots into two paper cups. “A toast my friend!”

Dame received his shot glass traditional style, with two hands. “Yes, to commemorate your glorious return to your business.”

They quaffed their shots and winced. The candles projected more grotesque and humorous distortions of their silhouettes on the walls and ceiling.

Dame hammed it up some more.

Go, with a shot of soju coursing through his veins, shed some of his natural seriousness and joined the waygook in a waltz.

They both giggled as they spun around like tops, arm in arm, watching their own show on the multi-surface big screen around them.

No was on the way back up to get her forgotten handbag and was presently passing the spare class room.

That’s where she discovered the open window, the newly replaced and now working light, and Dame’s smoldering cigarette butt stuffed into the window rails.

She gave her head a shake. I must be seeing things again.

Yet at her office the weirdness intensified. The flickering candles, the shadowy dancers… like some tacky old Korean horror movie.

Focus, girl, focus. You have to get your handbag and get out, and this whole alcohol-induced hallucination will be history.

The next 30 seconds or so were a complete blur. That’s when she’d delivered the knock-out blow to Damion with her handbag, fled the building, and cabbed it home.

*

Tomorrow: Miss No rethinks the previous night’s events.