Martoons

Cast of characters

Mr E

Miss No

Donna

*

“Honey … washroom,” Mr E said to Miss No, and headed off down the beach.

“May I walk with you up the beach?” she called out after him. “I need to warm up. Donna would you like to come with us?”

Donna declined. She had indeed spotted several Americans around the bonfire and wanted to meet them.  

There were several of the dreaded orange vinyl soju tents between here and the restroom.

To No they looked like giant orange glowing Satanic heads whose entrance flaps were mouths waiting to suck in and swallow a captive and thirsty Mr E.

That wasn’t going to happen if she could help it.

So far so good. She had him under close observation. He’d just taken refuge in the unheated but extremely crowded men’s john.

A lot of younger men were huddled inside smoking. Not old enough to get in the soju tents, they were discretely passing around their own soju bottles.

The wall-to-wall people in the small washroom necessitated that E retreat into a stall to carry out a little escape plan he’d devised.

* Escape plan?… *

Two of the three stalls had slow-moving lineups, while for some reason the third had none so he moved toward it, swung open the door and closed himself in.

Upon doing so, he realized why there was no lineup for this stall: The squat hole was overflowing with human cake.

Undeterred, E removed his jacket and then turned it inside out. With the label and seams on the outside, it made him look like a homeless guy.

Then he had to take off his gloves and fish around in his pocket for part two of his disguise – a cheap Santa Clause beard that he’d used to play St. Nick at Miss No’s church on Christmas.

While adjusting the white, fluffy facial hair, his gloves accidentally dropped down on the cake pile with a quiet thud.

“Ayeesh,” he muttered, “my Christmas gift from Miss No.” He abandoned the gloves and fled the stall, blocking it off by sliding a garbage can over in front of it.  

His next challenge was to escape the washroom building and sneak past the vigilant Miss No patrolling just outside the exit.

Funny how things just seem to work out sometime.

* Will the plan continue to work? *

At that very moment, a young acne-faced police officer entered the washroom after hearing reports of youth drinking.

He proceeded to unleash a torrent of yelling and flailed his night stick.

The waiting area quickly cleared out with E carefully embedded in the small exiting mob, hobbling like a peg-legged pirate.

* So that’s how E’s leg got hurt… *

*

Go’s Idea  

Miss No failed entirely to spot him. She was pre-occupied trying to keep warm. What’s he doing in there – having a baby? Ayeesh!

And the light on the top of the washroom door was orange and blinding so as the mini mob oozed out, all she could see was residual blotches from the light.

She actually half-noticed the bearded, homeless and hobbling Santa Clause-looking geezer, but didn’t for a second make the connection.

She merely snickered and shook her head at the kind of pathetic physical specimens Korean society was producing these days.

A split second later her Christian conscience kicked in and she was wrought with pity for the bearded, limping indigent. Then his image vanished from her mind.

* Will she remember it later though? *

*

Tomorrow: Go shares his New Year’s resolution.