Martoons

Cast of characters

Mr E

Mr Go

Fred

*

Big Top Soju Tent, a few minutes later.

“I’ll be in big trouble,” E said to Fred, “When she asks me how I lost those gloves.” He peeled off the fake beard and stuffed it in his pocket.

He cupped his numb hands together, blew into them and rubbed them together. Then he scooted over to the tent owner’s counter and ordered up some food.

When he came back a moment later, Fred was chuckling.

“Loved your disguise Mr E. Do you have a background in theatre?”

E waved him off. “I doubt Miss No will find my – how you say – bathroom humour – funny. As soon as she figures out my trick …” He looked grim. “…maybe she kill me.”

* Is he serious?… *

He looked around and lapped up all the joviality in the tent. “But until then I’m going to savour every minute. Yahoo!”

“Eat rice!” Go called out. The tent owner had brought over some bowls of hot noodles.

Go and E exchanged soju shots and then they all slurped spoonfuls of soup.

E’s cell phone rang.

* Who do you think it is? *

“Ayeesh!” he muttered. “How you say, speak of devil?” He flipped the phone open and Miss No’s shouting could be heard coming out it. E grimaced.

This was it.

He turned to Fred and Go, covered up the speaker and said in a low voice: “She still thinks that I’m in that men’s washroom – and why wouldn’t she?!”

He went back to his call with a frown, as a flurry of static burst out of the receiving end.

* What excuse is E going to come up with? *

Meanwhile Go was trying to ply Fred with more soju. The Canadian tried to ward him off by conversation. “What is your New Year’s resolution?”

Go became reflective and quite solemn. “I will go on a diet,” he recited. “I will resume boxing lessons.”

“But you’re not even overweight… and … boxing lessons?!”

“I need to toughen up and prepare for my title fight.” He mimicked two left jabs followed by a right hook.

* What title fight?… *

Fred chuckled but then saw that Go was dead serious.

“Fred, I have very good news. My lawyer just received a decision from the court and I will get my business back from Miss No.

However that is not the end – simply the beginning of yet another battle with her.

“Miss No will undoubtedly continue her attempt to eliminate me. So I will get a second chance but if I lose this time my life is doomed.”

He was in a deep trance, battle strategizing.

“I will re-do my Korean military basic training – running, push-ups, and lots of Tae Kwon Do.” He lit up a cigarette and took a huge, reflective puff.

“You might want to quit smoking too,” Fred quipped.

Go exhaled a cloud of blue smoke and vigorously waved Fred off. “Never. I learned how to smoke in the Korean army. That time was very terrible but I became a man.”

He took another puff and quickly exhaled. “In army, smoking was the only thing to look forward to. Smoking now makes me feel confident like a soldier.

”

Fred reflected “Mr Go why don’t you work together with Miss No. Both of you could run the business, make lots of money, and live happily ever after.”

* Do you think that could work? *

“It is good idea but…” He waved Fred off. “…impossible. Miss No has, how you say, axe to grind?

“All her life strong men have dominated her – her grandfather, father, and now her elder brother. They are very rich and have super power. They stop at nothing.

“Even in the pre-Korean War days that family collaborated with Japanese to get more business. Most Koreans around Chinju despise her family.

“Anyway, Miss No does not want a traditional, passive woman’s role in life. Usually a Korean woman serves a man but she is different.”

He took another long, drawn-out cigarette puff followed by a sigh and exhale at the same time. “She is totally different. As she says, ‘Nobody says no to Miss No!’”

It dawned upon Fred that this might be the last time he’d see Go so it was speak now or forever hold his peace.

* What is Fred about to say? *

“Mr Go can I talk business for a sec? I have to move and told Mrs Won I’d get out of Good Lucky Apartment right after New Year’s.”

“I’ve got it all planned to get out tomorrow. Thanks for everything…” and he held out his hand for a handshake.

*

Tomorrow: Go decides to negotiate with No on Fred’s behalf.