Martoons

Cast of characters

Mr Go

Fred

Mr E

Miss No

*

Finder’s Keepers  

Go dropped to his knees at Miss No’s feet and bowed so his nose touched the sand. A grossly exaggerated show of respect … but she could not ignore it.

Then he switched to push-up position.

* What is he about to do? *

“All I am asking is to attend, to have standing, to be present, to be face-to-face with Mr Fred at his ‘go out’ meeting with you.”

As a bewildered Miss No looked-on, Go then started into push-ups. Ten. Twenty. No tried to look away but … fifty … sixty … seventy…

She shifted nervously, uncomfortably, embarrassingly. Eighty. Ninety.

Go showed no signs of fatigue. Indeed, several washroom patrons had stopped and were gawking with curiosity and amusement.

“Please,” Go said between gasps, “Hear me out. Let me attend. It is my right.”

* Is Go’s pushup tactic going to work? *

As he cranked off his one hundredth and kept going, No stepped up right in front of him such that her feet were no more than a foot from his head, which was steadily going up and down.

“Recover!” she shouted like an army boot camp sergeant. “Enough of this nonsense. You’ve made your point. This is embarrassing and humiliating.”

The onlookers felt they were intruding and hurried away.

Go rose to his feet huffing and puffing, stood at attention, then saluted and threw his fist into the air. “Fighting!”

* Is she going to let him come to the meeting? *

No waved him off while suppressing a smile – both charmed and disgusted by the hammed-up performance.

She stepped back and angled herself away again, but actually giggled.

This was the cute side of Go that she’d always liked. The side that could crack a joke even in the most dire circumstances.

It was a side that she didn’t have and envied; a side that made her feel foolish for being so damn serious about everything.

“Yes, okay,” she said but still not facing him, “you can attend Fred’s go-out meeting tomorrow. Come to Riverside at noon. If you’re not there I’m starting without you.”

He bowed several times. “Oh thank you, thank you, thank you…” Now his foot was in the door.

At tomorrow’s meeting he could advocate for Fred and persuade No to either keep him on or let him go his own way in Korea. Anything but deportation and blacklist.

* What will end up happening? *

No turned and met him eye-to-eye and saw a glint of smugness: “But you will not be allowed to talk during the meeting! I will make a brief statement and that will be it.”

“You can then drive your friend Freddy to the bus terminal.”

She shoed him off. “Oh, while you’re here can you stick your head in the men’s and see if Mr E is alright?”

A minute later Go re-entered the Big Soju Tent with torn feelings – mildly ecstatic about going to the meeting but not happy about being muzzled.

Anyway, he went right to Fred to tell him the news. “Even though she says I can’t talk at the meeting, I will still try to.”

“Fred, it is the only thing I could get out of Miss No tonight. So sorry.”

Fred felt at this point it was almost as if Go cared more about Fred staying in Korea that Fred himself did.

“Don’t worry Mr Go. I know what you’re up against. Whatever happens, I’ll finally be able to put this whole thing to rest, one way or the other.”  

They vigorously and sincerely shook hands. The micro amount of bodily electricity that flowed between their palms radiated feint hope.

Fred found himself glaring gloomily down at Go’s soju glass as Mr E refilled it yet again. Catching him looking, Go laughed.

“You worry if my condition will be good for tomorrow’s meeting? No problem. Koreans can function well when hung-over. It is part of our job description!”

E was now off the phone and raised his soju glass. “Cheers, Mr Fred! I hope you will be very successful in the future. And thanks for covering me, brother,” he said to Go.

“Sticking your head in that washroom and pretending that I was still in there bought me a few a more crucial minutes.”

* What is E going to do with these extra few minutes? *

Suddenly there was a commotion outside. Unmistakably it was Miss No’s voice, only more hysterical and irate than usual.

Go, E and Fred scooted over to the tent flap and carefully poked their heads out. The fuss was coming from outside the washroom.

* What is happening? *

*

Tomorrow: Mr E’s plan of pretending he’s still in the washroom starts to fail…