Martoons

Today: Fred is shocked at the outcome of the championship match

Cast of characters

Master Jay Lee – 40-something Korean Tae Kwon Do master instructor.

Fred Pineridge – 30-something university grad; chronically under-employed.

Champ – Youthful Korean-Canadian & reigning club unbeated TKD champ.

Mrs Lee – Master Lee’s traditional Korean housewife (and exceptional cook)

*

“Kiyop!”

With Champ standing there feebly huffing and puffing, Fred suddenly hopped in close and launched his secret weapon: An axe kick, which can only be executed up close.

The beauty of the kick is that the opponent’s helmet clouds peripheral vision and he can’t see it coming.

Fred swung his leg up and around.

Crash!

Champ’s shoulder buckled and he was knocked off balance.

A collective gasp came from around the ring.

“Point-a!” Master Lee yelled.

Onlookers around the mat from Champ’s club were awed.

The fight was tied – one – one.

Thirty seconds left.

Fred intentionally moved back to bait Champ into another formula kick.

Physically and mentally wasted, Champ bit the bait like a desperate addict.

He was also angry – not used to any opponent connecting with anything, so Fred’s axe kick had shattered his untouchable aura.

He tried to get a powerhouse kick in higher this time but Fred brought his elbow up and Champ’s shin smashed into it.

The youth grimaced in agonizing pain as blood vessels internally exploded.

Within seconds a golf ball-sized welt erupted on his shin.

While the audience gasped, Fred hopped in and brought the same leg up and over his shoulder again.

This axe kick crashed down with more force than the first.

“Kiyop-yeahhhh!!”

Champ stumbled and fell backward, wildly off balance.

“Point-a!” Master Lee shouted. “Two to one!”

* Unbelievable – Fred has beaten the Champ *

The bell rang.

It was over.

Champ and Fred returned to their corners.

The volunteer congratulated Fred and untied his chest pad.

Fred sat down on his stool facing centre ring, where Master Lee was now conferring with two corner judges who were showing him score sheets.

The discussion was prolonged.

They seemed to be arguing.

Fred didn’t care.

He’d kicked Champ’s ass.

Finally, Master Lee was ready to announce the winner.

Champ and Fred were motioned to centre ring, where they stood on either side of Lee, at attention, and faced the Korean flag.

Lee took hold of Fred’s wrist with one hand and Champ’s with the other.

There was complete silence in the gym.

Fred began to crack a smile.

What an upset!

A split second ticked by and he felt a jerk, and suddenly members from the rival club roared.

Fred looked rightward: Master Lee had just lifted Champ’s arm.

Champ scurried back to his corner with a smug, business-as-usual smile.

Lee turned away but Fred tapped him on the shoulder.

“I had two points,” he protested. “Champ only had one.”

“Yes,” Lee said, “but corner judge say you give Champ a low kick – two time – in first round. As you know, a low kick is penalty point. So you lose two points. That means Korean boy win – one – zero.”

He quickly left the mat.

*Big Money*

Fred was stunned and desultory after the tourney.

He replayed the match in his head a dozen times, his disbelief increasing exponentially each time.

How on earth could he have lost?

After medals had been presented, Master Lee approached Fred and made him feel better with an invitation to his posh, palatial home in suburban Edmonton to feast on Korean food.

Master typically invited only selected participants to these affairs, so Fred was impressed to be included in the coterie.

He was given the front passenger seat of the club’s van, while the others chatted feverishly in the back.

“You try very hard today,” Master said as they rolled out of the gym’s parking lot. “But! Very difficult to beat Korean champion. Maybe next year you can win.”

* Is it shameful in the Koreans’ eyes for Fred to have lost? *

Lee’s wife was apprehensive before serving up the feast.

She was acutely self-conscious about how hot and spicy Korean food was, and worried that Fred would reject it.

But his eyes were feasting on it.

Most of the food items he’d never seen before, like squid.

Raw.

There were also vegetable side dishes, such as kimchi and honeyed minnows.

He started digging in.

When he’d finish one plateful or bowlful, Mrs Lee would be right there to heap more on.

Then Fred would finish that.

Then she’d be back loading him up again.

He started to get really full but didn’t want to offend his hostess by saying no.

So he kept packing it down the hatch.

“Do you like this food?” Mrs Lee asked as she ladled out yet another generous dose of clear, thin rice noodles.

Fred wolfed down a chopstick twirl of the yummy Korean spaghetti. “I don’t like it.” A pause followed and Mrs Lee’s face went pale.

Fred smiled. “I love it.”

She laughed with relief. “Isn’t it a little hot?”

He waved her off. “No problem. Honestly, Canadian food is too bland for me.”

“If you like this food,” she suggested, “you must go Korea!”

He laughed robustly. “Good idea Mrs Lee – I’ll get right on that!”

*

Tomorrow: Fred is skeptical as Master Lee woos him into a get-rich-quick scheme.