Martoons

Cast of characters

Coffee Lady

Dame

Thomas

*

Back in the café, Dame’s hour of anticipated hedonism was quickly turning into a mini-marathon of Coffee Lady-induced silent treatment.

He wondered if he should remind the Java Gypsy that he’d already pre-paid for his hour of ‘gold card service’.

* Do you think he will? *

Yet as much as he tried he simply didn’t have the heart to demand that she live up to their arrangement. He knew her too well, as a person.

As he sat stewing in externally-imposed silence, he admitted to himself that deep down he’d been holding out hope that perhaps she still (somehow) legitimately liked him.

Once again, though, he saw (for the umpteenth time?) that he was fooling himself. He broke out in laughter and slapped his hand down on the table. Dream on, buddy!

Coffee Lady: “Why?” She was still sweeping up the cigarette ashes and butts from Red Face’s outburst moments ago.

* Will he tell her the truth? *

“What an idiot I am,” Dame lamented and then shook his head.

“I guess deep down I fantasized that maybe – just maybe – I could possibly – possibly – sneak through the back door and buy my way back into your heart. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

Coffee Lady sensed a moment of truth, put down her broom and dustpan, and squeezed in beside the beleaguered waygook.

She rested her face in her hands. “I miss Thomas,” she pouted.

The remark annoyed Damion but on a rational level he couldn’t deny the facts: Coffee Lady had a thing on for Thomas. So, why not just let it be?

In fact, why not help it along?

* How is Dame going to help? *

“Why don’t you telephone Thomas?” he suggested. “After all, it’s New Year’s Eve and that’s a big deal in our country.

I’m sure he misses you. Probably stuck at home with that brat daughter of his.”

Sensing Dame’s genuineness, Coffee Lady instantly snapped to life, but seconds later deflated again.

“Telephone?” She waved him off. “My Englishy very tellible (terrible).”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll help you along. Isn’t that what we wagooks are supposed to be doing here in this country?”

One thing about Dame: He never held a grudge. Once he realized he was beat, he’d join the other side and help out any way he could.

“Forget my pre-paid hour of pre-packaged passion. Just keep it – you deserve it. But look – can you get me a coffee? And bring that phone.

It’s time somebody gave you gold card service.”

*

Dame at Beach     

“Hello, Meesta Thomas?”

As he held the phone, Thomas squinted with a ‘who-the-hell-is-this?’ expression. This was the thickest, cheesiest Korean accent he’d ever heard.

“Hello? Is this for real? Some kind of prank call? Look buddy…”

“Somebody want talking to you,” the cheesy voice said. “She – my friend – no speaky Englishy.”

Thomas let out a big, breathy sigh and shook his head.

He was certainly in no mood to give some faceless Korean free English lessons over the phone; not that he hadn’t done that before – he had – gazillions of times.

But tonight he was frustrated and feeling sorry for himself that he couldn’t be with the love of his life on this special evening.

He just wanted to politely get rid of this caller and get back making Perky’s dinner – a mac’n’cheez care package sent from home.

“Your friend – who is she?”

No response.

* Why won’t Dame say? *

Thomas: “Ok then, who are you? You sound like a foreigner to tell you the truth.” He chuckled. “Do I know you? How did you get my number?”

Dame offered the phone to Coffee Lady but she wasn’t quite ready to reveal herself to her foreigner hunk.

She was quite content being platonically snuggled-up beside Dame with her head stuck close to his, listening in on the call.

Just hearing Thomas’ voice was giving her the tingles – and the giggles.

 Thomas could hear the fussing on the other end and was getting impatient.

“Look, can I call you guys back? I’m just kind of … busy right now and I don’t mean to be rude but … could you give me a call tomorr…”

Cheesy voice upped the ante. “My friend – do you know? She – Coffee Lady!”

“In Chinju?”

“Yeah yeah.”

Thomas perked up instantly and the glaze unfurled off his eyeballs.

*

Tomorrow: Both Thomas and Dame take a cab.