Martoons

Cast of characters

Miss No

Owner of Big Top Soju Tent

*

“Hey mister, wake up!” Miss No said to the soju tent owner.

”Hey mister! Excuse me! This is urgent. Hey! So sorry. Wake up! Hey you! You you!”

His eyelids popped up reluctantly and in the next split second he did his best to suppress a frown.

No asked him if he’d seen a guy with a white beard last night.

“Looks like Santa Claus. It’s possible he came in here to get out of the cold because the last I saw of him, he was hobbling out of that men’s washroom just outside here.”

* Do you think the owner will remember seeing someone like that? *

The tent owner’s face screwed-up with initial skepticism. “Lady look, I get pretty busy in here and don’t watch the customers much. Only if there’s a problem.”

“Surely you’d notice a white beard – if even for a brief moment.”

He squinted again and scratched his temple. “Let me think back. Actually, I do have a pretty good memory for unusual stuff like that.”

He snapped his fingers. “Actually, yeah! I did see a white-bearded gentleman and I remember because there aren’t many guys around these parts with facial hair like that anymore.

Usually only old farmers and they don’t come in here at night.”

He chuckled and looked around at the other – empty – tables in his soju tent.

“Actually, they don’t visit here much anymore at all, but when they do it’s first thing in the morning, usually just after I open.”

He waxed sentimental and his eyes glazed-up as he spoke, much to the irritation of the impatient Miss No.

“Yeah, they used to come in here for breakfast – you know, a bowl of rice and bottle of soju.”

“I liked those old farts actually. They built this God-damned country! But they’re fewer and farther between these days. Haven’t had an old guy in here for months.”

No was fidgeting from boredom and the owner picked up on it. He chuckled.

“But yeah, come to think of it, I saw one guy matching your description sitting over there. However, you know I only saw him for a few seconds because I was busy.”

“Funny thing is, now that I think about it, the one thing I particularly noticed was his beard.”

“When I turned back to my grill to cook some grub, I got to thinking about how odd it is to see a white beard. So I took a second sneak peak back that way and …”

He threw his arms up. “I didn’t see the guy anymore! So he was here, I can attest to that, but only for a minute or two.”

He shrugged and chuckled. “He must have done some kind of disappearing act because I definitely don’t recall him leaving.”

“I keep track of anybody who walks out of this place to make sure they’ve paid!”

* Do you think the owner will figure out what actually happened? *

“Ha ha! I’ve had guys try to burrow out under the wall by scooping out sand.” He chuckled. “There was this time…”

No cut in, not in any mood for some trite soju tent war story. “OK – was old Santa by himself?”

The owner waved her off. “He was talking to one or two other guys the whole time – younger guys.” He went on to describe Mr Go and a foreigner.

“A waygook? Aha!” No exclaimed. Obviously Fred. “Anyone else?”

He waved her off. No supposed Damion wouldn’t have arrived yet and Mr E would still have been in the can.

So, what the tent owner was saying seemed to check out.

She added more evidence to her hatching theory: Grandpa Kang had been in this very tent with Go, discussing the last-minute logistics of snatching Fred off the beach.

No asked the soju tent owner, “Did the old guy and the other guys exchange money or anything serious like that?”

“Were they haggling or negotiating – throwing numbers around back and forth – or wads of cash?”

The owner was now letting out a huge yawn and doing some neck rotations. He vigorously waved her off.

“Not a chance. I definitely didn’t see any money change hands. I think I’d have noticed that for sure.”

He thought a bit and waved her off again yet more nonchalantly. “Actually nothing like that at all. In fact, those guys were laughing.”

“Now, don’t forget, I only looked over for a few seconds and was only paying half attention.”

He lightly scratched his temple again and then snapped his fingers as something came to him.

“You know, despite the white beard, I had this feeling that he wasn’t an old traditional Korean guy.”

“He didn’t have a long, haggard typical old person’s face with perma-scowl. His face looked young and somewhat animated.”

“And his eyes were very bright and vibrant – not glassed-over like a lot of old guys.”

He chuckled. “I don’t know if that makes any sense and maybe I’m over-thinking this.”

“It just seemed that beardy guy had a young face and the scraggly white facial hair hanging down didn’t look quite right. Out of place, you know?”

* Will they realize that the beard was a disguise? *

*

Tomorrow: The soju tent owner questions his own memory.