Martoons

Cast of characters

Miss No

Mr E

Donna

Fred

‘Santa’ (Dame)

Owner of Big Top Soju Tent

*

Miss No’s hysterical voice was audible and getting closer.

The owner shoed off Santa and Fred. “Go go, hurry hurry. As soon as you’re in the hole I’ll stick the lid back on and cover it up.”

“You’ll be the last guys ever to use this tunnel.”

Santa got down on his knees at the hole’s edge and turned to Fred. “Follow me.”

No was right outside the tent, yelling. “Here, here! They’ve gone in here.”

* Will she catch them? *

Down went Santa with Fred right after.

No was catching her breath. “That’s it,” she huffed and puffed, “I’m going to get in shape this year.”

“Heck, if Mr Go can do all that jogging – and he’s a heavy smoker – then I can do something.”

She glanced back and saw that Donna and E were almost through the crowd. She waved to them. “Yah! Over here! Hurry! Meet me inside. I’ve got the Santa cornered.”

She flipped back the entrance flap and entered hastily, her heart pounding with excitement. “Caught you in the act Santa Kang.”

“Get your hands off my foreigner…”

Immediately something didn’t make sense. Inside the tent was dead.

The atmosphere was motionless and reeked of armpits, ass and stale cigarette smoke.

The only sound was the buzz of the owner’s little space heater – and then his snoring.

There he was again, behind his counter and propped up against the corner, snoozing. He was now wearing the pink fuchsia jacket he’d offered Miss No earlier.

He’d now zipped the collar right up to form a tube around his neck to keep warm.

E and Donna burst in, out of breath, looking alarmed. No gestured for them not to say anything. Then she scurried over the table. Something had caught her attention.

* What? *

“What is it?” Donna asked hurrying over.

“Nothing unusual I guess … just that shovel again.” It was stuck in the sand near the table. She was baffled.

“This is bad, really bad. Now I’m looking like a complete idiot.

Am I losing my mind? Where are Santa and Fred? Didn’t they come in here only seconds ago? I saw them. Didn’t you guys?”

She walked hastily around the inside perimeter of the tent, sliding her hand along the orange plastic walls and poking for another exit flap.

None. Should she ask the owner?

It was doubtful he’d be in the mood for any more of her probing questions.

* She’s probably right about that… *

“Let’s go outside,” she ordered the other two. “We have to find those two. They’ve got to be around here somewhere.”

E was still catching his breath and dying for a smoke. He put his arm up. “Wait Miss No. Before we do anything, would you please tell us what’s going on?

“I feel like we’re running all over this beach like chickens with our heads cut off. Who are we looking for exactly? And why?”

Donna added: “Yes, let’s think this thing through. Miss No, why don’t you look for Santa and Fred? Mr E and I will go back and try to find Dame at the men’s washroom.”

“That’s where we last saw him.”

* Is No going to tell them why they’re doing this? *

“Good thinking,” No said, “but let’s stick together. Doesn’t make sense that we get split-up and end up losing each other too.”

*

Tomorrow: Go’s escape plan for Fred seems to come together.