Martoons

Cast of characters

‘Santa’ (Dame)

Owner of Big Top Soju Tent

Mr E

Miss No

Donna

*

Back on the beach, Donna was barely keeping up with Miss No. The headstrong boss was storming back to the notorious men’s washroom to find Damion.

“Oh my God,” she said thinking out loud to Donna, “did Santa physically overpower Damion in order to grab Fred?

“With that elderly appearance, nobody would suspect him to be so strong.”

“But we see that he will stop at nothing – including violence – to snatch a foreigner for Mr Kang’s business.”

“Either that or Damion’s in on the whole thing,” Donna muttered back but No didn’t seem to hear.

“Let’s go, let’s go,” No hollered frantically to Donna and Mr E. “We must find Damion. Hurry up!”

* Do you think they’ll find him? *

*

Santa was near the foot of the stairs behind the Big Top Soju Tent, replacing the tent owner’s homemade hatch on the exit end of the tunnel.

Then he kicked sand back on top and brushed off his legs and jacket.

A number of local Koreans were passing by giving him bewildered looks.

“Happy New Year!” he exclaimed, managing to extract an embarrassed and forced grin from a few onlookers.

He then realized how lame it was to be doing a Santa imitation on New Year’s, and chuckled.

Tickled pink that his practical joke on Miss No had morphed into Fred’s escape, now he wanted to finish the job.

How could he delay her return to Chinju to give Fred as big a head start as possible?

He nipped back into the Big Top Soju Tent.

* What else is Damion going to do? *

“Yeah,” the owner said, “that persistent lady and her entourage came in here looking for you just a minute ago.”

“You and your friend just got into that tunnel in the nick of time!”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Say, where is your friend now?”

Santa waved him off. “He has left the beach and gone back to Chinju. Anyway, do you have any idea where that lady went?”

“Believe it or not, I’d actually like to find her now.”

The owner didn’t answer but waved him off and then started laughing.

“Why laugh?” Santa asked.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just that you look frickin’ ridiculous in those clothes. What a sad sack! You are the most wretched, vulgar and pathetic-looking Santa ever!”

“Oh yeah.” In all the excitement, ‘Santa’ had forgotten that he was still wearing E’s spare set of undersized garments.

“The threads themselves aren’t bad,” owner said. “That beard though – it’s offensive. Take that thing off. Have some respect for our elders.

“Any self-respecting Korean senior would never sport a matted, snarled and ratty bird’s nest like that.” Then he broke into a gut-splitting laugh.

Damion Lee removed the fake facial hair and stuffed it back in his suit pocket, and then wondered how he was going to get his own set of clothes back.

They were back in that men’s washroom. “Ajasshi!”

“Why?”

“Would you be so kind as to do one final favour . . .”

* What could this last favour be? *

*

No and Donna were standing outside the men’s washroom waiting for E to come back out. No was shaking her head in disbelief.

“I should have been more vigilant. We should have gone back to Chinju last night.”

She shuddered and clenched her fists in front of her. “I can’t lose another foreigner to Mr Kang. You’d think I’d have learned after losing Thomas months ago!”

She took a step toward the men’s washroom entrance and craned her neck inside. “Mr E! Are you having another baby in there? Is Damion in there – yes or no?”

E was rehashing what had transpired. If there’d been some kind of incident between Santa and Damion such as a physical brawl, surely the police would be here by now.

Then E’s eyes came across the taped-off stall.

He hoisted himself up via a chin-up and peaked over the stall’s wall. There was the familiar looking shopping bag that he’d loaned Damion with the clothes change in it.

“Hmm. So somewhere on this beach there’s a guy running around dressed in my old clothes.” He let himself down, brushed his hands off and went back out.

“Damion – not inside!” he said with as much of a sense of urgency as he could muster. “Not a sign,” he white-lied. “Nothing. Not a single thing.”

* Will Miss No believe him? *

*

Tomorrow: E, No, and Donna debate what to do now about the missing Damion.