Martoons

Cast of characters

Miss No

Mr E

Donna

Damion

*

“This is it – now or never. Keep going. Get through that toll!” cried Miss No. 

The few cars ahead came to a standstill.

Knock knock knock.

“See what the policeman wants,” E said in an almost fatherly way.

* Are they about to be arrested? *

No reluctantly cracked the window by about an inch only. She still didn’t look in the cop’s direction, figuring her window gesture was acknowledgment enough.

“Are you the woman who’s pregnant?” the cop shouted through the window gap.

* What? *

“Yeah?” Miss No instinctively put her hand on her jacketed tummy.

“We had a radio call – that there was a pregnant woman in a car of this description. We’re here to make sure you’re all right and to assist you.”

No finally made eye contact with him. “Really? Oh thank you, most gracious sir!”

The cop pointed up ahead. “Proceed right through and we’ll make sure you get to the hospital – after you pay your toll of course.”

He stepped back and motioned with an orange wand.

“Perfect,” No exclaimed to E. “This is our lucky break. This is working out beautifully.”

E zoomed up to the pay window but then Miss No gasped.

On the other side of the toll was an emergency services vehicle and two smiling paramedics, a male and a female.

Both were youthful and enthusiastic and – No noted with mild interest – the male was very handsome.

While the female was busy opening up the back of the ambulance presumably for the prospective pregnant patient, the male was on his radio and visually following E’s car as it proceeded through the toll booth.

He was also hand-gesturing for E to approach him as soon as they got through.

No had different ideas.

* What does No want E to do to avoid the paramedics? *

“After you get through the toll gate, drive slowly around those wanna-be doctors and hit the gas.”

Donna had been watching the entire proceedings quietly in the back seat, shaking her head in amazement.

She knew Miss No was shrewd but this was pushing it.

Dame had taken only a mild interest in the unfolding drama.

Once he saw that their convoy was being delayed – which is exactly what he wanted for Fred’s sake – he quickly lost interest and had drifted back to sleep.

Up front, E paid the toll and proceeded forward.

The hunky, good-looking male paramedic with the radio and a big helpful smile took several steps toward E’s car.

“Don’t stop Mr E,” No ordered and rolled down her window.

The paramedic looked so youthfully innocent and earnest that she actually hesitated before uttering her white lie.

“Hello, Sir,” she announced with the biggest, most pasty smile she could muster. “I have to be honest, Sir, there’s been a mistake. I am not really pregnant but…”

The benevolent sparkle in the paramedic’s eyes diminished as did his professional smile. No giggled and put her hand up to her mouth to cover her embarrassment.

“To tell you the truth,” she said, ”we are facing a dire personal emergency of equal importance. We must get to Chinju for a business meeting.

”There is an international incident brewing, which only I can deal with. Have a nice day,” and up went the power window with a whir and a click.

The paramedic was speechless and reflexively stepped out of the way, doing a listless nod and bow to the departing vehicle, which accelerated aggressively.

What was left of his smile was wiped off and he was now cursing under his breath.

“Ayeesh! These princess types think the world is at their service. If there’s one kind of person I can’t stand, it’s those who take advantage of my good nature.”

He got on his radio to the cops at the next check point to pull over the speeding vehicle.

*

Tomorrow: Go must contend with another call from Comrade No.