Martoons

Today: Fred gets freaked out while working a graveyard shift.

Cast of characters

Fred

Dee Lee – unorthodox, eccentric, rebellious film student.

*

A pile of shattered glass lay scattered on the pavement beside the Pony.

Even so, Fred never saw the vehicle’s owner over the period.

Someone was coming and going though, because a few days after the incident the vehicle was back with a new window.

One night, the Pony was parked in its usual spot yet as Fred passed this time something was different.

He stopped and did a double take.

His heart began reflexively thumping.

He could swear there was someone inside the car in the backseat, hunched over and still.

Sleeping?

Dead?

* Who – or what – is in the car? *

He disembarked his bicycle and cautiously approached.

He’d never had to deal with anything like this.

Finally with his face almost right up against the window, someone burst out laughing, which echoed and amplified as it reverberated around the thick concrete parkade walls.

Fred practically peed himself.

The shrill, sudden guffaw had come from behind him.

“Any particular reason you’re peering into my vehicle Mr Rent-a-Cop?”

Fred looked around.

A guy with a video camera stepped out from behind a thick pillar near the car.

His eyes were glued to the viewfinder and he was videotaping Fred.

He also had a cigarette dangling from his lips.

“Any particular reason you’re loitering in my parkade?” Fred snapped back.

By now the guy was right in Fred’s face with his camera rolling, narrating while filming.

“That’s my car and that’s my mannequin that just freaked you out.”

Fred found the videotaping annoying. “Cut!” he said. “You mind telling me what you’re doing here?”

The guy pushed stop and lowered the camera.

Fred saw that he was Asian but obviously second generation as he had no accent.

He took the cigarette out of his mouth, tossed it on the ground and stomped it out.

Fred glanced down at the discarded butt.

“We don’t allow smoking in these parkades, sir.”

“I’m not smoking anymore,” the guy said and gave Fred a stupid smile.

Fred chuckled. “Well then you’re littering and that’s a fine.”

The guy bent over and picked up the butt. “Not guilty again; was just extinguishing a flammable substance.”

He glanced around for a trash bin and walked over to it, talking all the while. “I don’t know how you rent-a-cops can do this sort of work.”

Fred shrugged. “Not a lot of other work in this city.”

The guy shook his head. “Even so, one look at you tells me you’re in the wrong business. I can read people. You ain’t happy doin’ this gig.”

Fred had an aversion to pop psychologists and pulled out his security notebook. “Gotta ask you a few questions.”

“You mean the who, what, where, when and why routine?”

“You got it.”

“Okay – who cares, whatever, wherever, whenever and why not?”

Fred chuckled and sighed.

* Why does the smoking guy have a mannequin? *

“No seriously rent-a-cop, that’s my sister’s car. She lets me use it occasionally like tonight.” He pointed at the backseat mannequin and laughed again.

“That’s my security guard. Fools everyone. This heap of a car was broken into a few nights ago so we’re trying to deter a repeat of that.”

Fred peered in at the mannequin, mildly impressed. “Hmm, good idea. Actually, that thing looks like you. The only thing missing is a cigarette.”

The guy chuckled but that triggered a minor fit of smoker’s cough.

Fred put his notebook away. “Just curious, where did you get the mannequin?”

“I’m a film student and we get access to all kinds of neat props.” The guy held out his hand. “By the way, I’m Dee.”

Fred shook his hand.

“I should give you a better answer for your notebook. Here I’ll give you a 30-second version of my situation.”

Fred looked at his watch and was getting behind schedule. “Even better – can you give me a 6 second sound byte?”

The guy broke out laughing again but it turned into another vicious coughing fit.

While that ran its course, Fred got a call on his security radio.

It could mean only one thing: A vehicle break-in at another lot.

Time to move out.

Fred’s adrenalin was sky-high by the time he got to the other lot but it turns out he’d gotten all excited about nothing.

Somebody had made a crank call to the dispatcher.

He wondered if Dee had a buddy who’d done it, to distract security so that Dee could do his dirty work on that red car.

“I knew that guy was up to no good! All that BS about his dummy and film school!”

He headed back to the first parkade – high-strung and craving some action.

*

Tomorrow: Fred meets the Pony’s owner and the go-to Korea scheme picks up momentum.