Why travel to New Zealand?

 

 

 

 

Once when I stayed in a hostel in Dunedin, New Zealand in 2013, a number of lodgers were at the breakfast table conversing, as lodgers do.

 

 

 

 

I was asked, “Why did you come to New Zealand?”

 

 

 

 

As soon as I responded, “My mom lives here,” the others moved their chairs in closer and listened more attentively.

 

 

 

 

I had instantly gained a higher status, beyond that of a mere backpacker.

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

A funny thing happened about 25 years ago.

 

 

 

 

My mom was living in Canada on a pension and announced she was moving to New Zealand.

 

 

 

 

My brother, sister and myself did a “good on you mom”.

 

 

 

 

Yet not everyone was on board.

 

 

 

 

An in-law ripped mumzy’s face off.

 

 

 

 

“How can you move so far away? How will you visit your grandchildren? Are you leaving us?”

 

 

 

 

The in-law was irate.

 

 

 

 

Yet mom remained adamant.

 

 

 

 

I actually agreed with my mom.

 

 

 

 

It was her life and she could do what she wanted.

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

Now it’s 25 years later.

 

 

 

 

Mom is old. Very old.

 

 

 

 

And I can see with crystal clarity what the in-law had been ranting about.

 

 

 

 

Mom can no longer visit us in New Zealand.

 

 

 

 

We have to go there.

 

 

 

 

I don’t come as often as I should.

 

 

 

 

My sister rationalized, “It was mom’s choice to move to New Zealand. So be it.”

 

 

 

 

When someone gets as old as my mom, that doesn’t count anymore.

 

 

 

 

So that’s why I’m in New Zealand.

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

When I see how close families seem to be in other cities where I’ve resided in Canada – Burnaby, B.C., Edmonton, Alberta, Prince George, B.C., and several cities in Korea, I have been clearly irresponsible in regards to visiting my mom in New Zealand.

 

 

 

 

Upon leaving after a trip over in 1999 (from Korea), I wholeheartedly promised my mom “to be back within 10 years.”

 

 

 

 

Yet perhaps unbelievably, it actually took 14 (2013)!

 

 

 

 

How could I leave it so long?

 

 

 

 

Truly disgraceful on my part; negligent too.

 

 

 

 

By that time my mom’s health and situation had deteriorated but for some reason I failed to see it.

 

 

 

 

In the intervening years between that visit and now, things could have gotten a lot worse for mom.

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

My next trip was 2018, earlier this year.

 

 

 

 

It was almost too late.

 

 

 

 

It is a truly existential experience to show up at the old folks home and realize that your dear old mom barely remembers you.

 

 

 

 

She did after several minutes – thankfully – and as the days of my short visit went by, our conversations became more and more like old times.

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

But getting back to the question at the start of this:

 

 

 

 

 

Why visit New Zealand?

 

 

 

 

 

Despite my mom’s perilous condition, I still agonized over making the arduous journey all the way to the other side of the globe.

 

 

 

 

(The trip takes 24 hours from Canada and costs thousands of dollars even when you shop around for cheap flights.)

 

 

 

 

The question was decided in the oddest of locations: A shopping plaza in Prince George, B.C. (Canada), on a bone-chilling fall afternoon about a year ago.

 

 

 

 

I ran into a first nations acquaintance and her mom and after a quick chat and joke around, we talked about families.

 

 

 

 

I asked my acquaintance, “What do you think I should do – go to New Zealand?”

 

 

 

 

The fact that I’m in New Zealand now tells you what her answer was.

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 


Tomorrow: Goodbye to mom.